Welcome, this is a time capsule from a world that no longer exists, which describes most movies, most media, and increasingly, most countries. Everything inside it is technically three month…

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Work start Tuesday February 17th 04:00 PM

Work end Wednesday February 18th 01:00 AM

Timezone CET (Rome)

Downtime 2.0 hours (esti…

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1. Pluribus. …

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Currently1 sitting on a train where neither WiFi nor 5G is working because we’re in Germany and GOD forbid we have any worthwhile infrastructure or moral ambitions in this country, so here’s…

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There’s a lot of fragile masculinity on screen today. It’s in Adolescence, it’s a recurring and tragic motive in The Pitt, and definitely in every male character of The White Lotus. Not to m…

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Currently coming to terms with the fact that I really enjoy cinematic mediocrity. But I’m anxious it might be taken away from me! Will there be tariffs on Hollywood soon?

Europe is gearing up

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I’m boycotting Berlinale in standing against Germany's silencing of pro-Palestinian voices, especially in arts and culture. So no festival reports from me. Sad trombone voices. Under new man…

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Pouring one out for the people who decided to do Dry January in what’s arguably the longest three weeks in the recorded history of mankind. 🫠 Good news though, the world’s most important media platform (Media Diet on Plex) is back online due to eleventh hour mouth to mouth resuscitation. Thanks Trump! Happy Ceasefire!

Let’s watch something.

Nosferatu (2024)

Robert Eggers - ★★★ - watch trailer

Robbert Egger’s (The Lighthouse, The Northman) soft-horror interpretation of the German vampire classic holds up extremely well with a bombastically shot first act. Then the silly plot overtakes the eerie vibes and the tense atmosphere and horrible beauty in the scenes get lost in exposition dumps.

Criticism notwithstanding, I enjoyed Eggers’ version of Nosferatu as maggot-infested monster and adored Lilly Rose-Depp’s physical performance as horny mother-of-goth dick enchanter1. However I think I speak for everyone when I say that we absolutely, positively do not need any more Dracula remakes.

From the category “Goth Porn For Cottagecore Girlies”

Kissing Jessica Stein (2001)

directed by Charles Herman-Wurmfeld — ★★★★ — watch trailer

I’m still trying to catch up with all lesbian movies directed by lesbian-identifying, uh, lesbians. Kissing Jessica Stein is not one of them, sorry.

What it is instead: an infamous rom-com among lesbians. Lest I spoil a 25 year old movie, let me just say this: A very neurotic and very straight woman in New York finds out she is actually a bisexual when she falls in love with another woman. Lesbians hate it for its depiction of queerness and its male-centric characters. But that’s the real world, and even more so 20 years on. I gotta say: the “tragic ending” is painfully relatable2. Or, as one Letterboxd user precisely put it:

you don’t understand, this is how lesbians make friends!!!

From the category “Young Jon Hamm Jumpscare”

🍿 More Movies

• Queer (2024 — Luca Guadagnino, ★★ ) — I don’t like movies without women. This is a movie without women. A pasty, sweaty, old Daniel Craig desperately lusts after a bisexual twink for two hours on an eccentric soundstage before having a drug-induced psychodramatic breakdown to realize he’s just an old man with a boner. Would have rated this even less if it weren’t for the impeccable soundtrack (this is the most fucked up and anachronistic use of Nirvana’s Come As You Are ever)

• All We Imagine as Light (2024 — Payal Kapadia, ★★★) — Powerful. Raw. Poetic. And… boring? The shots of Mumbai are dreamy, vivid, alive, full of love and pain. However the intertwining stories of the three nurses stumbles along in muted tones when it could have sprinted confidently. It’s really beautiful and deserving of every award it can get, but I wanted more energy.

• Black Dog (2024 — Guan Hu, ★★★) — A Chinese man with impeccable workwear and heart-wrenching expression anchors this film. It’s a big, exuberant movie - the CGI and the shots here are unbelievable for a story of this scale - built around a small story of an ex-convict connecting with a dog. The world-building in the Chinese desert town overrun by dogs is fascinating. Stylish and heavy on urban decay, Black Dog is a neo-western that ran a bit too long for me but was ultimately more rewarding than All We Imagine As Light.

• Emilia Perez (2024 — Jacques Audiard, ★★) — Show me one (!) person who liked Emilia Perez. I’ve yet to meet anyone who has even completed watching it, and this movie is set to win Best Picture at the Academy. That being said, I didn’t completely hate it? I mean it’s mad, but is it madder than the concept of musicals in general? Maybe Queer should have been a musical. Like, there’s a good movie in Emilia Perez somewhere. Alas, the same can’t be said about the music. Of course everyone has seen the penis to vagina anthem, but I’ve watched all of it and believe me, some songs are even worse 😭

• A Real Pain (2024 — Jessie Eisenberg, ★★★★) — In a new episode of Kieran Culkin plays himself and Jessie Eisenberg loves overacting: A movie about depression, mental health, grief and Jewishness. But mostly about being lost in your 30s3. Depressed people — they are irresistibly vulnerable and dangerously captivating and then they will fuck up your life and theirs at the same time. At 90 minutes, this was really good, but it kinda made me feel really bad.

• Seed of a Sacred Fig (2024 — Mohammad Rasoulof, ★★★) - Feels important but heavy-handed — the family as metaphor for the state, with a father who represents the old and the daughters who represent the future, bored me immensely. But I respect that the movie was made without the presence of the director, secretly shot in Iran, to tell a wild family drama set in the Woman, Life, Freedom movement.

• Y2K (2024 — Kyle Mooney, ★ ) — What an amazing waste of 90s references. Dumb movies are an art. This ain’t it.

• Chime (2024 — Kiyoshi Kurosawa, ★★★★ ) — Movies as ambiance. 45 minutes of contagious violence. Yes, 45 minutes, my new favorite movie length.

📺 On TV

I know I’ve written about Landman but post season finale I have to add further remarks. This is the Emilia Perez of television: it has the sheen of a prestige series, but also a two episode arc about going to a strip club with the elderly? This is all so stupid, even for a series that half-mocks climate change and glorifies fracking and pretends beer is not alcohol. So if anyone started watching this based on my recommendation, please be assured that I know this isn’t actually good. This is an anonymous orgy-level kind of fun — once you’re in, you’re just kinda getting fucked by people with differing political views. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I don’t understand anything that’s going on in The Agency. There are multiple convoluted plot-lines in this American spy thriller and I can follow exactly none of them. Who’s Richard Gere supposed to be? What is the girl doing in Iran? Who is Felix? No clue. I am here for Michael Fassbender and Michael Fassbender only.

Okay but what’s actually good is The Pitt on HBO Max. Ladies, this is the IV I’m on until April. A medical drama in the style of the legendary ER, the first season is one 15-hour shift, an hour per episode, which sets up a compelling structure. It’s gnarly though. Not dropping all the episodes at the same time is a crime against humanity. My methadone is a fifteen seasons rewatch of ER. That’s 255 episodes — see you never!

Oh and, Severance is back. I jumped right into the first episode because despite the three year break, I remember everything that happened. That’s how good it is. I know it’s not for everyone, but the first season was truly up there with The Wire and Mad Men for me. Let’s see how it goes.

🎧 Hearing

Listening to Bad Bunny’s new album DeBÍ TiRAR MáS FOToS on repeat completely shredded any sense or logic in my recommendations. It’s all Spanish now.

And: Finding long forgotten 90s gems in the ER soundtrack.

📖 Reading

Very unseasonal for the winter since it’s such a beach read, but wrapped up “Hot Milk” by Deborah Levy and pretty much underlined every carefully crafted sentence.

Anything covered is always interesting. There is never nothing beneath something that is covered. As a child, I used to cover my face with my hands so that no one would know I was there. And then I discovered that covering my face made me more visible because everyone was curious to see what it was I wanted to hide in the first place.

Such a smart novel on being young and lost, emancipating yourself from your family and shedding identity. And while not exactly a romance, there’s definitely a lesbian subplot full of mommy issues.

Post-Script

Everyone is really lonely and it shows. Fashion has gone full circle to normcore, so I can finally be hip again. Flaking is standard now, sorry to the extroverts.

I’m still thawing from the cultural ice age of 20241. I’m glad that we, as a society, can collectively get over the hegemony of brat. But as I’m going over the music, the movies, the literatu…

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I’ll start with full transparency: I’ve been watching mostly Top Chef (not a great season if you ask me) and MasterChef, and if the 4 hour restaurant documentary Menus-Plaisirs - Les Troisgros would go on forever, I’d also forever watch that. This is the truth.

Love Lies Bleeding (2024)

Rose Glass - ★★★★★ - watch trailer

I am ✨ profoundly✨ satisfied. I wonder if Rose Glass meant her story to tell us something about the wretched, all-encompassing, deeply horrifying love between two (or, God save us all, more than two!!) women in homosexual relationships. I know some people in my audience are just here as unaffiliated bystanders and I don’t expect you to grok the deep emotional trenches we wade through in order to find sanctity in our affairs, but for those who know what I’m talking about: is this the best movie I’ve ever seen about literally trying to consume your hot girlfriend?!

Who’s licking designer whey from my chiselled abs?

From the category “This Is What I Expect To Happen When I Match A Girl On Hinge”

A Thousand And One (2023)

A.V. Rockwell - ★★★★☆ - watch trailer

I had heard that A Thousand And One was one of the sleeper hits of 2023, and I agree vehemently, furiously, and need you to pop this into your BluRay machine and enjoy New York City transforming into the most beautiful side character of a movie. All the performances, the scoring, the cinematography and the plot are so heart-gutting, but wonderful and enjoyable still despite its heavy themes. I need more people to watch this and talk to me about mothers, homes, gentrification and family secrets.

From the category “Just Cried A Thousand And One Tears”

Civil War (2024)

Alex Garland - ★★★★☆ - watch trailer

Director Alex Garland, known for 28 Days Later and Ex-Machina, presents his most ambitious project yet. Civil War is a nerve-racking rollercoaster. My heart’s still pounding.

Kirsten Dunst, Wagner Moura, and Cailee Spaeny play a trio of journalists who seem to have lost all humanity, chasing the perfect scoop in a rampaged country. With a unique blend of horror, impactful set pieces, and mesmerizing cinematography Garland creates an inverse magic fairytale of visceral violence. Despite epic proportions and pictures, the film's reception has been polarized; Americans in particular seem uneasy with Garland’s harsh portrayal of their country. Only assholes and no political direction in this movie. Either Garland is avoiding controversy, or he’s deliberately fucking with us. I think Americans just don’t like it when the British judge them. I had a great time.

From the category “We Need Two Bottle Of Wine And A Xanax”

Challengers (2024)

Luca Guadagnino - ★★★☆☆ - watch trailer

The longer I sat with the movie, the more I started liking it. The sexiness of Tennis notwithstanding, Challengers is about three types of a loser personality: each character thinks they’ve got it figured out, but ultimately they all play in mid-level leagues. On and off court, they perpetually try to negotiate their places in each other’s lives and who’s the greatest failure between them. This feels exactly like things grown up’s do. Hits a spot I can only describe as: “We need more adult dramas, please.”

That and the Zendaya of it all, the soundtrack by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, the bisexual Churros… all of it. It just works1.

From the category “Movies That Made Me Attracted To Men”

Perfect Days (2024)

Wim Wenders - ★★★★★ - watch trailer

I do not hand out five star ratings easily, but here we are: Love Lies Bleeding and Perfect Days, two in one newsletter. Perfect Days is such a fine, gentle and consoling drama about life and work and the simple pleasures of solitude and stillness. Still: By the end, I wasn't sure if this was a sympathetic portrayal of an autonomous life of routine and ease, or if it was actually a soft judgment, ruling on the consequences of being abandoned.

From the category “When You Order Gay Trauma from Muji”

🍿 More Movies

Snack Shack (2024, ★★☆☆☆) Great summer movie if you can forgive the crimes against female characters.

Monkey Man (2024, ) Came for the action but stayed for the queer wholesomeness?! I‘ve never seen a more balanced depiction of toxic masculinity and the warmth of your chosen trans family. Unlocks a very niche cross-sectional of interests for me: warrior stunt queers. 😍 Give Dev Patel more!

The Idea Of You (2024, ★★★☆☆) I was stoned out of my mind when I watched this and the whole time I kept asking myself how old Anne Hathaway actually is. It’s been a few weeks and the fake song Guard Down by the fake boyband August Moon is still in my top rotation, I am not a serious person

📺 On TV

I’ve started and stopped many shows during the past week. Shogun wrapping up has left me expectedly lonely, and while Hacks is back and better than ever, there’s an existential lack of prestige TV right now. Apple’s Dark Matter is something to pass the time with, but I’m always waiting for Jennifer Connelly to be in a scene and fall asleep the rest of the time.

Back to Hacks: Perhaps the most lesbian - culturally if not canonically - contemporary TV that I’ve seen since The L Word. I have a very soft spot for Hannah Einbinder’s doughy, deadpan hotness, but just generally, the one-liners and deliveries are sooo spot on that it will be hard to cope once this season wraps up.

Still bumbling through Ripley, which I find just a bit hard to approach right now. I don’t have the focus to really appreciate the stunning cinematography.

The Sympathizer’s extreme Park Chan-Wook x Tarantino sense of direction hasn’t panned out for me at all, I felt overwhelmed, then bored, then emotionally aggravated when I hit episode 3, and haven’t looked back since.

🎧 Hearing

Movie soundtracks are killing it right now. Challengers, Civil War, Love Lies Bleeding - all masterpieces. Childish Gambino’s new album Atavista.

And I, too, can’t and won’t resist Tiktok’s most favorite track right now:

Judging from the comments everywhere, bro satisfied 4 generations at once with this beat.

Post-Script

Obsessed with Emma D’Arcy’s dyke era. Not me watching Top Chef and Master Chef like it’s my destiny to become a cook. Trying every Glucose Goddess hack to see if that can curb my pre-diabetic sugar cravings2. Palestine’s Lost Villages. The Roots of Recession Pop. Someone made a very smart and handy overview of all the cinema screenings in Berlin, sorted by whether they are dubbed or not, and if I could pay them for it, I absolutely would. This new Karaoke place in Berlin that I’m dying to go to.

It’s still raining in Berlin, and while others are complaining, I am deep diven into media, cooking, and restoring my health, among other grown up things. Do we really spend most of our youn…

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Hello! I feel motivated to write about movies again so you don’t have to all individually text me to ask if I saw Dune: Part Two and whether I liked it.

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It’s Christmas so here’s a little miracle: a newsletter with a quick best of 2023:

1. Past Lives (Celine Song)

2. The Killer (David Fincher)

3. How To Blow Up A Pipeline (Daniel Goldhaber)

4. Killers Of Th…

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In this episode of I Have Important Opinions About Everything: Let’s get rid of summer’s and autumn’s backlog. Reset. Ciao to all the content weighing on my mind. The big clean-out, sale, Bl…

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It’s work season so I’m Mariana Trench deep in The Good Wife, my preferred soft / depression-adjacent (re-)watch to transition from unhinged, knows-no-boundaries summer spending spree (both …

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I saw a tweet today that said “I really enjoyed work but I can’t do it anymore” and that’s the spirit for this newsletter. But hey - I’ve made it to 62. That’s not nothing!

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